Marketers are going crazy with their back-to-school ads right now and they all have one goal: to get you to spend more money on your kids. There’s nothing wrong with spending money on your kids, I do it on a regular basis, but I believe that our culture takes it to an extreme.
It’s amazing how much kids activities cost and how quickly they add up. With school starting again, parents have to prepare to be nickel and dimed to death. It’s not just the gymnastics classes you were already paying for over the summer, it’s the $25 snack fee, the fundraiser that you have to participate in, the dozens of brand new #2 pencils you have to buy, and the extra cost to be in the school band. What can you do to survive the back-to-school tidal wave?
Ask For A Discount
If you really cannot afford something, don’t be afraid to ask for a discount. Not only do schools offer free or reduced priced meals to families who meet the income requirements, but they can also help you with or waive all of the other little fees, like for snacks and yearbooks.
Sports and classes also offer discounts, especially if you have more than one child participating. If you have three kids who want to do karate, the dojo is more likely to let all three attend for the price of two than to lose you as a paying customer completely. Usually, deals and discounts are not advertised, so you’ll have to suck up your pride and ask. Just say, “Do you offer any scholarships or discounts?” The worst thing that can happen is that they say no.
Have Them Pay
If your son wants to play flag football and you can’t fit it into your budget, have him help out. Even if they aren’t old enough for a regular job, teens and tweens can earn money babysitting, doing yard work, teaching older people how to use their electronics, and the like.
I remember when my older brother wanted $100 basketball shoes growing up, my parents made him pay for half. I’m sure he valued them and took better care of them than he would have if they had just been given to him. Not only can it help your budget, but it will teach your teen to work and give him the opportunity to practice the adult skill of weighing opportunity costs and making decisions.
Create Teachable Moments
Money is a finite resource, and the sooner we teach that to our kids, the better off they will be. When my daughter wanted to do swimming, karate, gymnastics, and play soccer, I could have just told her no. But what would that teach her?
Instead of simply saying no, I explained that each activity costs a lot of money. We don’t have enough money to do everything. So, she needed to pick the one thing that she wanted to do most. It taught her that money is finite and also gave her the opportunity to practice making decisions for herself.
When my son was selling coupon books for a fundraiser, he wanted to sell enough to win a big prize. He was disappointed that I wouldn’t just buy 10, but I wanted him to get more than just a cheap toy from it. I explained that if he really wanted the prize, he could go door to door in the neighborhood to sell the coupon books. I would go with him, but he would have to ring the doorbell and do all of the talking. It was a great learning experience for him.
Maintain Your Priorities
It’s easy to get caught up in all of the “needs” that kids have. Especially, when all of the other kids have the same thing, are doing the same thing, or if your child is a persistent whiner. (Remember, the Bible promotes that!) However, it’s important to keep the big picture in mind and stand your ground.
Eating a family meal together is very important to me, for both nutritional and relational reasons. Even if my kids show talent, I’m not going to sign them up for activities during dinner time. I’m willing to move dinner a half hour earlier or later once a week, but feeding my kids granola bars in the car while we run from one activity to the next just isn’t going to cut it with me. Family dinners are more important to me than kids’ sports.
It works the same way with financial priorities. If missions giving or saving for college is a priority for you, don’t give it up so that your daughter can be on a traveling soccer team. If soccer is a priority, though, by all means, put her on the team! Just know your values and establish your priorities, and make everything else submit to them. Remember, the most common regrets that parents of grown kids have are about not spending enough quality time with their kids, not that their kids missed out on certain classes or activities.
While back-to-school is a time of mixed emotions, don’t let anxiety over your budget be one of them. These are my suggestions, how about you? Do you have any of your own? Let us learn from you too; please share in the comments your own wisdom and experiences. Thanks!
